Nurse Emergency Call

ICU

2011-08-19T22:02:00.001+08:00

Now my blog is under care at ICU.. Stay tune for more updated

Monday Blur

2007-05-07T20:42:00.000+08:00

I think i suffering from Monday Blue in school today. I was super alert in A&P, but loss conscious after A&P. I just like dont feel to talk, listening and keep on fall a sleep. Huda did not turn up for 2 lecture. So sad lar, she abanned me... Hehe.

Oh at night, meet xinyin for dinner at PS. It is for her 1st day of working at Red Cross. Happy to see her agian, long time did not meet her since the day I left ITE i guess. Lost count already.

The day was super dry in school. I just dont know why!!!

We canot save the world nor can we help all the people. But we heart and soul to make a different in the little thing we may save the world

Mahjong Session

2007-05-06T12:27:00.000+08:00

Saturday Morning, supper nice liao can sleep so nice. I heard my SMS tone rang out but i ignore and later Mdm Chua whos is my Red Cross Teacher called me and ask me about my life in Ngee Ann. I was wake up by her call and chat with her some word. Later i saw jolene sms, asking me wheather i would be free later to help her in your Nursing Care Plan Project. As promise her to meet at 12pm -12.30pm at Orchard Atrium Bus stop.

At 1200hrs, i met her and accompany her to buy her friend gift at Plaza Singapura (PS). I bought a fews item at the shop for my brother. Chee Keong - Dont follow me because I also lost
Then David - Smoking Zone, Max - Shut up and mind your own bussine. The rest i tell more later hehe. When for lunch at Yoshimaya. I heard someone calling my name but unidenfity who was it.

At my house, we started off the project on Nursing Care Plan on endocarditis. The best part was my old laptop, got problem. SO pish off, use my sister's computer. Take us to think about 2hrs for 1 Nursing Diagnosis. After a warm up we think of other 2 more as we plan, we like trying to kill the patients rather than giving a good health. Close to 6pm. my brother called me and check with me wheather i am coming for the mahjong session. I told them yes but will be late.

My dad told me the dinner is ready and ask Jolene to join in. But She refuse to eat, so i decide to bring so dish in my sister's room and froce her to dig in. At the moment we are doing about deficit nurtient intake, and we will laughing as we eat and do the care plan. After finish the Nursing Care Plan, jolene was looking for her pencil case. looking high and low for it end out was behind my laptop. Lost and Found item in my house. Was super funny and laugh out loud.
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Reaching at Huimin house, we started to play mahjong from 9pm - 4.45am. Goodness like dont know how many round we play. If i not wrong in couting we play 2 round in the 1st half and 2 round other half time. I make a lost of S$4, Daivd lost S$ 5, Chee keong lost S$10.00. Mucous won S$19.00

Pretty late, Mucous drove us home. ABd reach home at 5.15am.

Wo Ke Yi

2007-05-02T23:27:00.000+08:00

Gary Cao Ge & Zuo Wen Xuan - Liang San Bo & JuIiet MV

2007-05-02T23:01:00.001+08:00

Tong Hua

2007-05-02T22:58:00.000+08:00

Day 5 in Ngee Ann

2007-04-21T12:48:00.000+08:00

It was day 5 in Ngee Ann as a student nurse studys as what i have study before in my previous days. I am no one speical. Just a common man with a common though who lead a common life in history. There are no monuments dedicate to me and soon myself will just forgotten. But in one respect, I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I have loved my passion with all my heart and soul and for me that has always been enough.

I had not ask for more or whatever it happen I never regrade in my life. It just what I want is friendship

- Alvin

First Day of School

2007-04-16T20:03:00.000+08:00

First Day of School, Totally lost. No friend in year 1. looking blur like sotong. Hahaha
But met some friend in Year 2, like jolene (my junior in ITE), Shuting (RCY), Yinying( my senior in ITE). Not even friend but lecture in my ITE, (mdm Sara, mdm Lim, Mdm Lam) OMG...

I hope i not that outstanding student. Hehe. And will be adpot the change of life.

Aiyo, so embrassed by Shuting, she screaming my name like she had not see me in 1000 years. But at least she guide the way to LT 38, was looking around.

At least got to know Rashid 1st, he is action very fun to be with. As we walk to LT 38... Best part, looking so sotong as like no students was around. Did not know that the students rush to busy the book. Goodness, I and Rashid rush to get the book at Blk 83, level 2. SUper long quene.

Waited patient as the quene can short. Manage to get th book and rush back to LT 38 again. Horrbile monday morning.

After the lesson, we lonely, by myself having lunch. Thank god.
Meet with Shuting for lunch. And to end school, was lonely home with heavy book.

Good News

2007-04-11T20:01:00.000+08:00

Wah, yeah!!! I finally got in Ngee Ann Polytechine in Dipolma In Nursing... wah So great and happy. I did not tell my junior i enter in Ngee Ann, what if i tell them, would they find me for help... Goodness no where to hide. I told my brother and sister, they will great to hear my good news. Waited for 2 year and 4 months. Here i am aiming to be Staff Nurse, slowly work to be a APN. I just wonder what if i choose to be Medical Officer after my Dipolma in Nursing?

Oh ya, today met jolene to accompany her for shopping at Takashimaya. Long time did not went out since Oct 2006 when we went for cycling, what to do i am busy with my National Service. We went for light lunch and get some T-shirt, that she want to spend her voucher that her mum gave it to her. Interesting ya!! I also told her that I enrolled in Ngee Ann, she was great to hear, it because she can disturb me once again for her assignment and project. Goodness me.... Haha what to do she my sister? Get easy bully by her!!! Opps =X

A day pass, after visiting Alex Lim, who is my previous FADIS sir, he had a Hit and Run case by the taxi driver. If was so pity sad, to see him in NICU, I just don’t know how to face it when hearing friends or even a volunteer friends admitted to NICU. It was my 3rd times witness a friend admission to NICU. I don’t know what is his prognosis at the moment, what we can do now, is just pray for his life.

"Let compassion be the nergising force as we journey with our education"

Last Day at TTSH

2007-03-30T21:56:00.000+08:00

Yeah, today is my last day at TTSH. I never felt so good that changing from Working to studying, which the class begin on 16 April!! and the result will be out on 5 April. Hope thing will be fine and god bless.

Saddly of cause left my colleugue that i had work with them for near to 3months with all the enjoy and fun. Not only receving the complain and violet patient but have learn a lot from Senior Staff Nurse, Staff Nurse and Senior Enrolled Nurse. Thank all the help and knowledge i very much appericate them.

Will be with them in TTSH in 3 year time. Cheer if i did not change my mind by then. Just wonder how life can be fun in study!!!

Surely god is my salavation, I will trust and not be afraid.

AMK Methodist church, Isaiah 12:2

Chinese New Year 2007

2007-02-18T18:55:00.000+08:00

Wah, so exhausted today. Playing with my cousin till got, head, body, hand injuries (minor). AIyoo too many playful cousin. Guess what.... i did not know I have so many cousin. Even I did not know i am a Uncle to someone. Laughter and happy today. And age is catching up. sob sob....

Going to 21 years old, there is where grandaunt, granduncle will make noise, "When are you getting a girl to let me see", "Aiyo, Getting older", "So still in nursing". I just Ear in and Ear out.... hahaha that what i do every year. =D Happy to see my cousin, all of them grow tall and well knowledge. See them so different, compair the picture from last 2 year till now.

Really Enjoy myself, even is a long day. Tommorrow other visit at my mum side.

Spring, summer, winter fall in love, it never leave from your heart.

Sarah's Departure Day

2007-01-31T02:47:00.000+08:00

Jan, 31 2006. The day when Sarah Ee departure date, at the night 2200hrs. We met at T2 at 2100hrs, before her flight and the Row 7. Notice that she highligh her hair in purple stright, looking happy as before.

After then, we took a photo together and the rest. Seeing her is so difficulty to let go especially she is close ones and knowing her problem wheather able to cope. It is difficult to accept the fact and fate and it can take time to recover. Before her leave, we sang along "Friendship Make me Happy" My tears from the eye duct, sweap away and uncontrollable. A last hug to her and wish her in luck and well taken care by heaven.

The body, sluggish, aged, cold, the embers left from earlier fires, shall duly flame again

Walt Whitman

What a STUIPD Day

2007-01-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

Goodness, I am so angry with my colleague who sobtoage me. Just because she DONT know what to do. Just happen she was on the line with the patient who want the operation have to postporne due to abnormally result.

End up she did not know how to explain, she ask me what to do. I ask her that patient have to maintain his BP 3mth period. Without knowing the phone is on mute or not, Less than a 15min before my patient leave the table, My nursing manage ask me to apologize to the patient, i keep on asking what happen before i apologize in the better way. Patient was scolding me over the phone to me and TELLING ME OFF "DONT PENTEND and MAKING YOUR SO INNOCENT". Totally shock and just saying sorry without knowing WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPEN!!!. I did not talk to the patient over the phone as my colleague regrading the change of operation date. Now i got to face the complaint from the patient.

This is so unfair to me, i was with other patient explaining the risk and the operation process.

Fed up liao!!! =(

First Day of Work

2006-12-04T15:12:00.000+08:00

A month of relax, away from my ORD date on 13 Dec 2006. Cannot forget the 2 year in NS with many memories left behind.

Today is my frist day of work at TTSH. Being a Enrolled Nurse in TTSH, is so different in NS Medical Centre. Happen to meet my few old batch, working in TTSH. Hoping that I enjoy and learn something on Eye operation.

Sometime facing some stranger scolding you think that you are so new in the enviornment.

But with working and experience in medical centre, does not stop me as a new person in a new environment factor.

Knowing your skill and knowledge, retrieval the memory will be a successful

My History, My Hope, My Wishes

2006-11-08T22:03:00.000+08:00

My last wrote was in July 2, before I went o Taiwan for starlight exercise. Here, I am to write a last ending word for people who leave away. Time fly past fast and the month of October. Just many days back, some of my friend leave Singapore for study and integrated to other country like Australian and Europe. I had sent of a few friends recent week and days. And telling myself would better to leave or stay in Singapore. But I will have feeling for friends (those are carry on staying in Singapore), family, relative, and my favorite entertainment area.

PIGGY (JQ) - When you are back to singapore, must sure you give me call. Hope you have some fun in Aust. Dont forget me and remember to look after the PIG. Dont feed him too much. =D

Von (Ah CHua) - How is indian. Hahaha dont a nickname for yourself or not. The weather now is not friendly. Must take care of yourself ya. Dont anyhow eat food along the rally.

Edward (AH WARD), Lai sia Hong Kong, ho ma? Missy... Take care ah, I will be there soon for oversea relaxtion.

Edwin Chua (Red Cross) - How is london, sorry unable to send you off on that day. Hope you have fun there. Study well.

Bita - You ah, never updated me what going on with you. Left singapore for 1mth got news from other. Aiyo when you see this blog, keep in touch ya. Take care and send my regard to you dear boy. =D

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I have a few things to do and want to successful in it. But I have only achieved ones. - Degree In Nursing (A&E, CC) - Upgraded my laptop - Encourage young student of care of Elderly - To return my social life in achieved ITE (EAST) National First Aid Competition (Champion) after my ORD

- To help any 2 school who want to achieve in life saving (FAC)

- To retire from one area that current a polity and move on to other department. (mission Completed)

There are many more I want to finish the task, but had no time. At least I have a group of friend are still with me. We love to have fun, enjoyable, joke and create entertainment.

Nevertheless, we are still together. Ahh, I remember one the getting at Laopasai (Old Night Market) or at Marina Square, I was telling them that I will be getting 3 thing in November. One is Driving License, second, ORD Certification, third, PINK IC. The moment 3 NS guy (David, Max, CK) hear it, they attack me and for Joan, she help up by flatling me on the ground.

Yesterday, Kenny decided to bring us from Pawning. Best part, nil of us know how to handle the prawn after the day, we are specialist in handing it like:

P2 – Plug out the toxic leg and insect the bits

Kenny – pawning the baby pawn and BBQ the pawn

Myself – Pawning the Adult pawn and insect the satay stick

Jocelyn – Removing the shell

Shulin – Removing the shell

Each path you step, each direction you chosen. There is no return back.

Each thing you make, each time to spend There is no undo

Each structure you destroy, each betray you create THERE IS NO FORGIVEN FOR YOU

2006-10-29T19:52:00.000+08:00

WHO AM I and WHERE I BELONG?

2006-07-02T22:56:00.000+08:00

A place that no one want to go, a place no one wish to stay in
An occupation with passion, a task that ever end
A skill to learn, a skill to save

They show out feeling of happiness, sadness and pain
I do cry, tears and smile with them
I put my care and hope on them
They return a smile and tease.
But that don’t stop me from my career and passion.
And now I can say out loud with pride that

I AM A MEDIC,
I AM A NURSE,

I AM A SOLIDER
I AM A CAREGIVER
WITH MY LIFE

Every single thing you do for patient, they dont show their appreciation to you. But they cry because they know someone is with them and not lonely.

Place with unknow and learning

2006-06-18T21:18:00.000+08:00

Just 2 wks ago, I went to unknown place where place is no longer more to be exits soon. We went in team of 2. It was a day where so many people around rushing in our line. People who come from a nowhere, I can see that they need help from us. But we are moving place to place. It is a very beautiful place when we drove over the broken path. We cross over using our combat engineer skill know as LB.

On the day 2, we arrived at the Buhura Hospital. I can’t believe is that everywhere and every place are people. People who are injured, illness and pain lying around the concern, concourse way and even the bed can leave outside the ward.

I remember I attend a patient who had a Anterior femur fracture. While waiting for operation, we needed a curious to immobilize the limb. We were looking for air splint in our medical box, but the stock run out. Every instrument we have on the first day, half of the supplier were use up. In the end, we got to use our combat skill, tried many way to immobilize the limb, like using branch, box, wooden, piper and many more way.

At night, our medical supplier is coming by superpuma, I so excited I quickly SMS my friend to stay by the landmarks and marshal, but I send to my friend in Singapore. Oh my, what an idiot of me.

We stay there till Friday and went back to where we can from. The place that we are in the place we have peaceful and the place we belonged to.

2006-06-18T20:31:00.000+08:00

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2006-06-18T20:19:00.000+08:00

Prejudicial and Pride

2006-05-02T21:38:00.000+08:00

I cant believe that someone told me off that I am prejudicial just that I told him off that he is prejudicial to the girl. How could he say like that, and can he proof it to me in what way I am in prejudicial? If not for the girl to ask for help, I think you will also cause her prejudicial to herself by expelling from school.

I have no other idea for you both couple doing such and silly act on the wrong time. BLOODY HELL. I guess you both thing about it and FOR YOU INFORMATION, the method only can be done less than 2-3mth old. If too late, there is not other way, and you dare to take the risk on her for aborting after the 3mth, and she DIED on the trolley. I make sure, YOU will never forget this for your life and I MEAN IT.

If you don’t dare to bear the responsible I suggest you both BREAK OUT. I have enough on both you two doing again.

My dear girl, you are too silly to do an unexpected act with your partner. It is too late. There is no way to get behind time. So what can I say? Your boyfriend told me I was prejudicial with your baby. Whatever I told you, thing before the 2 months. I rather you to abortion the baby and leave thing behind. Don’t get to sad over it. The most important is your studies. Take pride to your studies. Remember you are in your FINAL YEAR. Take pride and look for better ones, all right. Don’t look back. Please carry on your pride to your own professional. There is nothing on earth without your passion to your work. There is nothing on earth is prefect, it today prefect there will not be tomorrow. Think about it. Walk away from the void deck and hear her Cry in tear, and hear her say I Sorry.

Something looking ahead of two paths which one you choose to go. Once you enter the path there is not walking behind or return back. It will never tell you with are the right path. Either led you to wrong way or right way. If led to right path, hearing is there. If led to wrong path, faces it and learn it and change your path ahead.

Never Regard your life - Base on the true story Part 2

2006-05-02T21:12:00.000+08:00

After 6year storyline, this story is a follow up and simple short line to end of the story. Well will it a prefect ending or it a prefect being?

Found more at http://truelife2002.blogspot.com/

Caring for Cancer Patient

2006-04-23T20:59:00.000+08:00

This morning, I read the newspaper article under Lifestyle of this student who battle her life with stage 4th Cancer, which I have, be nursing cancer patient before. Some of them didn’t want to battle against it but give up their hope. Guess what I tear off and remind myself of caring of cancer patient. For this time I hear and read not many patient are having the mentally, for example with the support of her friend and school by raise funding for her medical fee, it make patient sprite high and will carry on in her life that what she have. It make very touch and a learning experience, for myself as a nurse who felt this way, tear down from my side of the eye and pray for her in good health. And hearing and reading, I will keep this and share the experience to other nurse who are nursing cancer patient.

A word of share:
Even patient say that he/she has no support or no one beside them before they leave, it not true my dear patient, we are here and beside you daily, said the nurse. “WHO ARE THEY”, the nurses you see us daily, helping you up on the wheelchair, walk with you to the toilet and many other thing. And the doctor who sees you 3 times a day and even before they go back home. (holding the patient's hand, seat beside them and last their last word)

I don’t know how much more time and day I am gone. But my hope to see my children before I take my leave. Help me to tell my children that they should not give up anything but carry on. No matter what happen, just remember their family is important. Nothing is more to care but the family. Promise me to take them and that will be enough for my last hope. Now I can rest for a while.

As Nurse hear these natural tear and stay beside the patient before patient took the final move. A group of nurse enters and screens the bed and no resuscitation was giving because the case note wrote DO NOT RESUCITATION (DNR). Doctor came and told the nurse to inform the relatives.

Nurse gives the patient a care and say, “wherever you are your children need you, you also give them your sprite support and may you also rest in peace”. Take care.

It difficult to know what they want, but with your touch with them it more than enough of their faithful day. Keep them accompany and silence with one soul.

2006-04-23T01:02:00.000+08:00

2006-04-23T00:59:00.000+08:00

2006-04-16T20:52:00.000+08:00

So many things happen the last few days in medical center while I was on call duty. Told I received 3 resuscitation cases. The first case I received was epilepsy. A patient collapses in the toilet and throw out fit. Next was anaphylactic shock case, which may lead to death case. Out of 3 had anaphylactic shock, 1 will survive only. I pray for him to survive as traveling to hospital in an emergency speed. MO sir was with him and stands by for advance care. My pray answer the called to me and he survived, he was admitted to the ward. Last case, a female trainee officer having heat exhaustion at night. What an exhaustion duty?

Sometime people wont know your care is beside them. Only one thing will know is your prayer lighting to the needs. Lighting the path to needs to the right route of healing.

Never Regard your life - Base on the true story

2006-03-12T17:51:00.000+08:00

Base of the life story on the date 18 December 2003. A young talent person was name as Alvin who is famous in his secondary school. He is good in his studies and active in his CCA. He was been introduced a girl, Jane by his classmate name as Alex. He accepted the introduced as friends. However, Jane has feeling of him but was deep impact when Alvin’s two close friends, Andy and Mark had betrayed him. Does Jane has a chance to show her feeling to Alvin?

Found more at http://truelife2002.blogspot.com/

Starting off with:
Z.Q as Alvin
Chong Meng Yang as Mark
Chua Yong Meng as Andy
Weixiang as Alex
Ng Meiyi as Jane
Xiong Xiong as David

Writer: WHO DONT WISH TO BE NAME

Thing just take for granted

2006-03-09T22:49:00.000+08:00

Many of us have take thing for granted and didn’t think for other. Sometime thing make seen so easy for other people in their own position way of convenient. This reflection will share with you about people took thing for granted.

Besides being a medic for already 9mth whom had been doing medical duty and medical cover in his previous and present unit. He had done many different type of medical cover like IPPT, Outfield, SOC and many others. We all know that each of us as a medic has it own responsible of his duty cover. Before the cover, medic has to prepare his equipment (E.g Mircovent) that are well function and ready to use. Before he left, he would place a concern and inform his friend that he had a cover the next day. That night, a call received in medical center, the duty medic answers a call from the unit that is having an activity the next day. The caller told the duty medic to inform the cover medic to arrive in the medical center early. Unfortunately the duty medic can only try to contact his Handphone to inform the latest new.
Duty medic did his responsible by calling the cover medic, but there was response. He calls back and told the caller that he had tried his best. The caller demands the duty medic to get the cover medic whatever way to just to get him. Duty medic also tries to contact the cover medic by SMS, but failed by the replier.

Next morning, cover medic wake up early at 5.15am, as he is aware that the cover commences at 0700hrs. He didn’t read his hand phone and went for this early shower. At 0600hrs, he saw his hand phone and received 2-missed call and a message. A message display out that Cover medic has to arrive at 0645hrs. With an alarm, the cover medic could not reach on time, he await his dad and drove him to Camp to obtain reaching before 0645hrs. Medic rush to medical center and arrive at 0645hrs on time. At the carpark, he saw no L/R and quickly goes to level 2 and asks for any news. The duty medic had already help the cover medic to prepare the equipment. Cover medic appreciated the help of the duty medic. At 0715hrs, the cover medic calls the unit whether the activities are carrying out; the unit acknowledges that the activities are still carry out. However, the L/R was not at the medical center to fetch the medic at 0645hrs but came at 0730hrs with a vehicle commander. Quickly the medic embarks the L/R and move off. Reaching at the scene, the safety officer did an inspection of the medic and his level of his knowledge. At the end of the activities they end off with the run. The conducting officer told the cover medic to help the man to carry stuff and put everything in the L/R. Everyone have move off at the starting line, the conducting officer told the driver to drive off at the starting line while the medic is helping the man, later on the man who help in the stuff walk off to the starting point and leave no one expect the cover medic and the driver. In the end the medic was the VC and thank goodness the medic knows the way to the starting line. As the things are unloaded, the medic attends the briefing and the L/R drove off with the medical equipment. With the surprise of it, the medic has no idea what going on. The L/R returns in the short period of time and the run off begin. The activities ended at 1000hrs and the driver drove him back to medical center. With reflection of his memories and recap back what are the thing they do are right or wrong. He though off these:

1. Why the caller who calls after officer hours and NOT during officer house, the caller took of his granted as he may think that the cover medic has a Hand Phone and will able to get through. What if the cover medic came from poor family and could not afford a hand phone and the caller need the medic to arrived earlier.

2. As the cover medic had received the message, he quickly awakes his dad to drive him down to camp to avoid to be late. When he arrives, the L/R was not present at the medical center carpark.

3. The cover medic is doing his duty to treat any wounded or injury. The conducting officer commands the cover medic to help the man carry the stuff into the L/R. What if the medic got himself injury will they’re any replacement?

4. The L/R left with the medical equipment without knowledge the medic what going on. What if any things happen within the shortest time without the equipment to benefit of the casualty.

These reflections which, share with you about each of us including you, friends, family, your boss, supervisor and other low or higher ranking has take thing just as simple and didn’t have spare though for other who are lower that you or equal. It not just simple, press a button and thing just come out of the box. I would not say is wrong but would like to ask you to think of yourself first, your family, friends and other who don’t wish to be other to force them nor you. Just think of the person who is in their shoes. Do you ever wish just other to push you around and get thing going with thinking other complication. Definitely you won’t think of that right because you have the power to do it. But what if you over use the power, and take the power for granted, will you be losing out? Simple right. Everyone is not just prefect mind and body. BUT everyone is equal. We all have own HUMAN RIGHT. And therefore, each of us should not just take thing simple as we though. Nothing is fairness but hounor to other. Before ending this reflection, hope everyone read about it and recap of yourself. Have you ever take think for granted.

*Base of the Real Life Story.

2006-02-19T15:11:00.000+08:00

3blue and 3 white flower was given to ________

2006-02-19T15:10:00.000+08:00

3 white Lily

Whatever you do, Think of your patients

2006-02-19T14:56:00.000+08:00

A few weeks back, I have been working in PLC Medical Center. Thing have change. Making myself to other person who need to adept change of the medical center of rule and law. Well, trust me I don’t follow it, if I do; I guess I will make the situation of the patient worse. My core values for the patients is their needs and see what we can do as our profession to our patients who are wounded or ill. So far, I have hearing this from other who talks about the patient to let them wait because they are the ones who are reporting sick. But let think about it back, if you are the patient and a medic let you wait and wait. How do you feel? Have you even thought for your patient feeling? Have you think back if you are in their shoes? Did not right, cause you are the medic who just relax and do your part as a medic in the medical center. For me have been through tough and suffering in the unit before. I know how is feeling for the solider that came in the medical center, not just to escape from the training but seek help. Many other ask what they want. Straight forward they said “YOU WANT TO ESCAPE RIGHT”. I don’t believe just too straight forward. Sometime they need time or kill the time to their success. BUT HOW. You don’t know, I don’t know. We don’t know. for many time we have been we didn’t realize the mistake we do till the guilty of it. By the time is too late. Being as nurse for life long, and experience the feel of the patient, life is totally different from army and outside world. Caring make patient feel better more than a house. Thing go wrong will go wrong totally and will be too late. Think about it. Think of yourself. Think of other. Think that are you better than other. Let this question hit you up and get the answer thru yourselves.

2006-02-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

SO CUTE, HEHEHE

2006-02-07T20:29:00.001+08:00

My nephew, AHHH i getting old. SOB SOB

2006-02-07T20:29:00.000+08:00

This is other batch of my cousin. FROM LEFT: GUANG YONG, Myself, Threase (my closer cousin) then mucus (the naughty boy boy)

2006-01-31T14:41:00.000+08:00

Left: Cassie Ee, Alvin Ee, Yenlin, Guang ___ (cant remember his name), Yenhui and Guang Chu

2006-01-31T14:40:00.000+08:00

Left: Cassie Ee, Alvin Ee, Delia Ee

2006-01-31T14:38:00.000+08:00

My mother's family.

New Year Day

2006-01-29T21:52:00.000+08:00

Long time ago, there are legends of Peranakan custom left behind when our ancestor were gone. Before they leave us, they were pass down the traditions of Peranakan to their children and they pass down to grandchildren and so on so for. “Peranakan”, “Baba” or “Straits Chinese” all referred to the same people. The women are known as “Nyonyas”. The older ladies are also known as “Bibiks”.

In this 21st century, our elderly face the same dilemma and problem, as the young generations are decline of traditions, the inability to speak the dialect, the growing number of marriages. All these factor lead to the great changes in the culture and uncertainty about the future. The traditions had broken for the least 8-year ago. My families know not much of the custom and traditions but they will carry on the step and way of matriarch. Thing that should carry on and pass down are Malay language, the costumes, right way of respect to the elder and ancestor, music and Food. This New Year, Elderly celebrate the sharing of traditions to young generations. I was watching the elderly bun up one of my cousin hair. The furniture was still in good condition. The custom was worn by my grandaunt look as we were in 19th century. The style of cooking will be held this Friday. There is where my Sambal Udang come in. yeah, well is not a easy task to cook all Nyonyas dish you know. Oh yes, sharing and enjoy moment of memory come again. And sharing the problem and miss out for many months and year. Caring soul and blessing make our relatives come to life. There is a say “to preserve and revitalize the Peranakan culture and traditions through cultural social and literary activities”

Least for all, Happy New Year to everyone.

Wish to all everyone, best in study and well health.

A new place

2006-01-29T21:15:00.000+08:00

There are thing that we cannot tell that what exactly we are in. Like we cannot just ask for more sun and more sun is out or asks for less rain, less rain comes. Just like happiness, asking for happiness won’t just come like that. Even we are in the new place and new world that thing won’t belong to us. Thing just don’t go well nor work well, we will suffer. Only one thing we can accept is adjustment and takes time to be one of them. However, thing can just go wrong if not done well. But thing just go out of control, cant stop it. I don’t know, you don’t know. No one knows at all. Suffering in silence, hidden a concern keeping quite and let everyone see you and speak about your back to other.

-Sickday-

2006-01-10T20:31:00.000+08:00

What can I said about this month period? What a busy months or week man. Have to settle the shifting to a new medical center at Paris Lebar Camp by 16 Jan. Then after I have to settle down the new medical center. Aiyo, recently I get sick easily. Like sever cough and headaches. And had a bad stomachache just few weeks ago. Oh no when can I have a good recover and get well. I have so many things to do. Help me and bless me well.

Name with Related to Medical

2005-12-25T22:47:00.000+08:00

Here are some medical personnel like doctor, nurse and healthcare person who wish to know how to avoid getting dangerous relationship especially your partner is also a medical personnel.

Here is go the story begins with Alvin, a doctor and Eileen is a staff nurse where they are working at Accident & Emergency Department (A&E Dept). It was a busy morning, when they are many patient coming in. Alvin and Eileen were in relationship more than 3yrs and they decided to get marry soon. They invited some of their friend to their ROM (Register of Marriage). They wrote their invitation card in short form of their name A&E ROM Day. They invited their closer friends and so on so for. Eileen’s best friend, Amanda was reminding Helen one of the close friend too. Amanda and Helen went for lunch break while Amanda asks Helen “ Are you are attending A&E ROM”. Helen spill out her drink and say with shock “WHAT A&E ROM” we are working at A&E Department since when A&E dept area will be marriage to other department” In a foolish look of Amanda, she repeat her message “Alvin and Eileen”, A&E ROM. “Don’t you reminder”. In the joke of laughter of Helen, she said loudly “I though you will joking of A&E Dept marry to other department”

See how we misinterpret of medical term when both couple are begin with an “A” other is “E” end up A&E marriage because Accident & Emergency Marriage. Oh my, these couples, which are name, begin with an “A” or “E” is a dangerous sign. Not only A&E medical problem, there is more. Other problem with the medical team is disease relation.

Here other one. Alan and Pamela are senior staff nurse working in a medical ward. Both of them were in relationship since they were student nurse. They had planned to get marriage in 4 months time. They send out their invitation card to their friend and relative. They also invited their friends who are nursing and able to attend on that day. As the date close by, Harry, Alan close friend and Joanne, Pamela best friend were at pantry having their meal. As Alan asking Joanne what time is AP wedding dinner? Joanne was busy her meal as she though that Alan was referring to a patient appointment of AP (Appenditis Scan). She went through her mind and say I don’t remember any patient got AP. Alan look at Joanne strangely, what patient got AP. I said Alan & Pamela (AP) lar not Appenditis (AP). Joanne coughs out loudly and say oh AP wedding dinner is at 1800hrs on 24 Dec (Sat).

See now relationship problem begin with an “A” and “P” end up as appenditis. Now is taking vital sign short form problem like this.

During an attachment, two students nurse, Benjamin Phua (BP) and Patricia Tan (PT) were taking Blood Pressure (BP) for the patient after his surgery. An anxiety student nurse, Eileen asks Patricia about Benjamin. So how is BP so far? Oh the BP is 122 / 80 BP is normal and I got to inform staff nurse. Eileen’s face expressions look shock and whisper to herself “Benjamin is 122 / 80 what code number is that”. Hey Patricia had 122 / 80 what code is that. It is Benjamin Phua as coded is BP right, confuse asking by Eileen. Patricia oh you were asking Him. I though you were asking about patient’s Blood pressure (BP).

See now couples, so if you got a relationship please careful use the short forms as nowadays there are many medical short forms are using. There is more as below.

Department:
Alvin & Eileen – A&E (Accident and Emergency Dept)
Gerard & Serene – GS (General Surgery)
Raymond & Michelle – RM (Respiratory Medicine Dept)
Gary & Mae – GM (General Medicine Dept)

Disease & Diagnosis
Andrew & Pamela – AP (Appenditis)
Gary & Ellen – GE (Gastroenteritis)
Terence & Barbe – TB (Tubro)
Henry and Isabella – HI (Head Injury)

Vital Sign
Bernard & Patricia – BP (Blood Pressure)
Patrick & Rachel – PR (Pulse Rate)
Raymond & Rachel – RR (Respiratory Rate)

2005-12-24T22:13:00.000+08:00

Life has not been complicated. It had been long the last 8years when someone special had died. Memories are either keep it or cast away. Leaving the only child behind at young age whom unknown to be aware of death. Losses of touch but feel someone is beside by smelling as a same as was before. Closing your eyes and sense the touch of air touching your warmest skin and spinning across your mind. Looking at each familiar dish, holding the tear and turn away. It is good to cast away bad memories because bad memories do evil thing in your mind and loss the confident of yourself.

Perhaps now is the time to let go of myself the unhappy had been with me for 8yrs. There is nothing to hide about it but treasure thing must be carefully and keep it secret. I believe there is a treasure is hidden somewhere cause I keep on dreaming the same thing every year. But still not sure what is it. And I don’t know.

It is a month old, when I step into a new medical center at 3 Div. Meet different people and lifestyle of working. Everyone knows I am worker alcoholic person who thing work came 1st before admin work. And of cause to me is life. Life in medical is very 1st take challenge that fears the danger of death, which we don’t want to see it or even hear it. But it difficult to say that death is here or later. It can just happen anything of the day, it just the time. I am happy in my work and carry on my faithful task given my upper studies and well wish to him after his ORD. Month of Christmas ahead. Every one is looking forward to it and for me Christmas is nothing but special to the young. I believe Christmas is a day where blessing and thankless come across the world.

Just recent I have a nice chat everyone of whoever I know. But there is someone I know who has a different problem to solve by self. If you know who are you and happen to read my blog, this is for you. Whatever thing died by self, it will re-born from the ash in the air as a lifecycle. What does is mean to you? For me is mean there is always a lifecycle happen in different way. When a living died and is re-born is different way like by Character, Behavior or other to add on. Life is not just plan by heaven, but is yourself and your heart. Just what you are now facing and thing you are WRONG. Why do you make yourself to be “one of us”? If you don’t know the answer, the answer is “YOU WANT TO BE”. Your mind set yourself fully as what you are now. But if you set yourself positive and overcome your WANT, you will be a “one of us”. I understand how you feel know, even though I can sense you holding your tear, but it is good to let is drop and fear away. It no use to return as a normal ones, but make thing happen and show yourself you can do it. There is nothing to hide my dear. I sure you will be one of us. Let the battle begin of you. I had end here. As I always said, is there anything you wish to tell me. Handphone, MSN and even now BLOG. So many way of communication. BUT don’t call 995. Ahh last thing, “DON’T EVER THINK TO DO STUPID THING”.

Whatever thing had happen before, don’t try it again nor return.
A wise person is not yourself, but you have the power to determinism it.
-Alvin-

Cast Away

2005-11-27T14:58:00.001+08:00

Whatever you had saw, it just what left over. Nothing what we can do here.

Oh just few days, thing change very fast. Heard the later news that I was posted to Division at Jurong Camp Medical Centre (JCMC). I was very shock; don’t know how to feel the feeling of joy or sadness. I though is just a reality and a dream but thing come along and is present here just right here. I wrote a farewell message to everyone in my HQ platoon and I leave without a word. Heart feeling just cast away, as memories will be traveling along with me. On my first day in JCMC, I was like well know person. Everyone knows I am a nurse; I was totally amazed of it. Life was to go one and get to know many other friends even at G1, HR, and 30 SCE. Woo, Everything was within a day. Even I met about 3 secondary friends, I can’t believe it everything seen to be miracle, which really meet me in my joy and happiness. What ancestor told me was right.

Happiness doesn’t just come to you. You need your own sense and wheeling to get it. It just that you need to find out, wherever things are hidden away from you. At this time, there are many people out there are still in their wondering mind. Whatever you lost/dream/think about it, just slowly and make them cast away.

2005-11-27T14:58:00.000+08:00

2005-11-27T14:57:00.000+08:00

2005-11-03T22:20:00.000+08:00

Memories with joy or lonely ones. I just can’t think much about my friends in Company HQ. That day my birthday, I just bought a cake for them to eat with joy but I didn’t expected that they celebrated with me and my heart turn soft. That was my happy movement with them. I guess that I have bought my friendship close but I am leaving to other place. I didn’t tell them what happen but if they read my blog I hope they will know why. Faithful memories for 5 months had just vanished or even cast away. I don’t wish the joy of memories just vanished but to make the memories of the 5 months, we read over HQ dairy weekly and photo paste on the scratch book. It was beautiful as I look over in on my birthday. I almost cry out, my dear friend told me that. As the 3 pictures below, was my faithful picture in my NS days. 1st picture was taken during our 3days field camp. Can you all try to identify me out? If u can find me, give me your answer by typing in the tag board. The 2nd picture was taken in the bunk with my bunkmate of medic. Well of course, we had keep in touch even we are away like Mr Aziza, now in East Malaysia. The last picture, I think you all would be wondering whom that medic trying to do with the casualty. Guess who sia??? Hehehe. I was giving IV to the casualty who had a badly injuries on his left leg. ***Evil Laughter***

Now I am totally lost friends and myself. I just don’t know how should I look into in. All I am now is looking forward where I am going and would I come back in peace? My dearest friend who ever with me, I hope that we keep in touch and never let go. Even my daughter, sister, brother, family members, Aunt, Uncle and Residents of AMK. Just not to worry, I will be fine and fight through it.

Disaster are always indiscriminate, can occur any time and in any place. It's Grim but trite and true.

It just a same if you and your love one are always indiscriminate. It wont be a successful relationship.

Treasure her/him well before he/she disapper. Talk her/him your feeling. Dont wait, till ley into a wound.

Dont let go your love one away. Secure and share the warmest together.

If you like someone, slowly approach to him/her, and tell up your feeling about him/her.

Dont give up your hope, face to face and always prepare for any worse. Who know he/she like you? who know she accept you?

Remember what it said, and dont leave aways your faithful memeries. It just a memery dream.

Resucs Kit

2005-10-30T13:38:00.000+08:00

Can you find me?

2005-10-30T13:33:00.000+08:00

Last Day in CMC

2005-10-30T13:31:00.000+08:00

Hmm saving a man's life, with IV

2005-10-27T17:49:00.000+08:00

This story will share with you how much pain I have go through and despites the stress and difficult accepting the task, the camaraderie, the empathy and the noble spirit of the Angle Shine through.

Pain and Hurt of myself

Soon I have to leave from my combat team due to other reason. I am very sad mood about my health condition since after my medic course. The test was done twice each month and the results come out positive. I don’t know how to tell my health condition to friends and other because I felt embracement. My mum and dad knew about me and they were just sad. So I decided to write in blog, those who read will know. I having a HTHL as it may cause permanent if I don’t take care of the HTHL. HTHL is a hearing never that may cause temporary or permanent damage. I might have a chance of recovery is just 10% ONLY. The doctor told me a bad news, if this doesn’t seen to be good. It may be DEAF. This hurt me a lot and some of the solider in the company through I trying to fake myself or even some said I through of getting out of the combat team. With this sentence make me angry and feeling sad. They don’t understand how I feel with a HTHL. But I got a few medics and 3 of my good friends understand how I feel and they concern me daily. Well, I have to accept the changer of myself. So those who have read these I hope you all understand it.

10 months in NS Life

Well 10 months, oh my 10 months already in NS life. Haha. Just a week ago, I was having a cup of coffee with friend from Combat Medic at TCC at clake quary. All of us look different and from different camp too. Time already flies in October and guess what today is my birthday. Yeah. Laughter and joy come out from our mouth and cheer to each other. And not forget the question they like to ask me once again “So Alvin Eeeee got girlfriend or not”. Laughter and tease me again. As my response is “NO”. Joke and question asking around. Of course they celebrate my birthday early.

Dream of a girl

Just last night, I dream a girl, which I may or not believe. Haha do you believe it? I dream a girl who is younger than me about 3 – 4 yrs old different. Hmm but I cant see her look well. She has long hair. Hmm I can’t remember. Haha is just a dream.

A great power have is own responsible to itself. As a medic have a great healing hand to other who are wounded and injury. Sometime life can be happening with unaware what going on. Even friends say can wait till tomorrow but I not so sure how true is it? It our responsible to care and help for other not just leave it aside. Who know thing can just disappear and won’t return.

Miracle you cant believe it

2005-10-10T21:30:00.000+08:00

This is a miracle, my patient open his eye once again after his operation was done. My friends and myself can’t believe it till we went down to see him in the hospital and was came to my surprise, it was true that his eye open in front of us. I bought my sister to see him on Saturday and she cry out cause she felt the pain as a brother who have gone through the care as a Nurse. This may let her expose what is nursing about and hope she learn something. What Ambrose say was right, what we are leaving there is a 2nd world who is living with us. Spiritual help to heal other, even prayer do how to heal deadly illness. Now I know why spiritual prayer is very important to a patient life. I did enjoy once again with all of the zai family for coffer or rather say is a dinner.

Well, I didn’t believe till Father from Novena Church came down to hospital and give his life prayer to the patient and the prayer was answer by him. I now then believe and prayer do help it. When I will be a nurse clinical, I would allow my patient’s relative pray for their patients. I think now we can relief and wait for the next step for his healing.

Now I think our worry will leave us slowly. But I don’t think so, I guess the disaster in the world got worsen recently. Would this disaster affect Singapore? I don’t know; who know one day will come.

Hmm, now my leave day and student are having exam. Hey all student who are having exam, Best in luck”

Whatever you are facing it, go and challenge them up, don’t make other defeat you up and don’t make other look down on you. Just do what you are now, the challenger is just yourself who you are facing not who you are challenge with. Trust this and you will successful.

Whatever you are now, just pray for HOPE

2005-10-02T16:56:00.000+08:00

Hey, yesterday have a great time once again with my nursing friend and my sister. I went out with my sister to Toa Payoh at afternoon. She was late so I walk around at Toa Payoh and guess what I lost my way back to MRT cause there was many exit. Both of us went for lunch at KFC before that we passed by at bus interchange and saw a huge blood donation area. Oh ya I met Shirley “Mdm” haha. Therefore, she looks angry and feels like want to punch me out because I about to call her “Mdm”. Bleh. At evening time, I went to Saka Sushi for dinner with my nursing friend. We were making ourselves foolish in the restaurant by arguing and fighting each other. Later at night, we went for late night movies the show is “Crops Bride”. The show is fair ya, nothing much but my Dajie got scare when the guy turn over and meet the crops bride. Don’t know should I laugh or not. hehehe

Last week there were many things happening during my duty. Keep on thinking what is this happen to me and WHY, why must this should be on my hand. I have no time for my friends, family and my love ones. Thank goodness I have no girlfriend, if not I think we will be now fighting and shouting each other. That Monday and Tuesday, I went to TTSH at 2pm. I met the patient’s relative and family, I never did an interactive with other family who love one in ICU. I console them and my heart feels sadness of the pain and places myself into their shoes. It is difficult to tell how much they go through the pain and how long more to take it. Each time, I saw them cried every time when the doctor releases the condition of the patients. If I can imagine that bed if my love one I would never forgive myself and will stay beside till the his/her awake or dead. I left and return back to my camp for the follow day passion medic duty. I afraid to tell other about him but just wait and see his system to fight each enemy on the battlefield.

Friday evening was my other case sending to hospital. Thank goodness was a dislocation shoulder case other is unknown fever. I send them to NUH A&E but my patients screaming in pain and in ambulance. Aiyo, I can’t do much but to clam his anxiety down. Of course manage to do so till hand over to A&E Staff. At the end, both are all right and send back to camp and book out.

Pervious Saturday week, had a long time didn’t went out to watch movies. The show was “The Myth”, it was a nice show you must go and watch if those don’t like hong kong actor then suggest not to go. After the show, we went for dinner. I think we make a fool of ourselves there, well was someone birthday. I did have a great fun with them even my body is weak and lot of worry. Of course I seldom think to drink some alcoholic drink to ease myself in the way of enjoy but this will not erase my thing, right. Myself and other 2 person bought and a glass only. The rest of the girls were playing around the playground. At 10pm, the girls left and we stay at the playground till about 11pm. I just hope they are happy and thank to my daughter inviting us came along and guess what she planned the celebration well.

Looking at the sky, world and climate are changing, it seen like the show name “The Day after Tomorrow”. Hmm maybe the temperature will be low but not snowing ba.

What ever is now I am standing can’t or never return back what I used to be. I like to be something that I can see other world, I like to be free out and live in the normal way. But can’t so many restrict in camp and all you have to say YES, YES and can’t say NO. I don’t know how to faces out. But I should be now standing off my feet and carry on my work, no one should tell me what to do.

The day will never forget

2005-09-25T00:50:00.000+08:00

Recently, one of our medic was down. He was send to TTSH and admitted to NICU (Ward 3A, Bed 14). We received the news yesterday early morning. MO sir and 2 medics rush to TTSH. I was call upon to help up in medical center. Everyone was low moral and praying for our friend. MO sir returns back to camp before lunchtime. He told us that he is in a bad condition and had virus infection the brain. I was shock and guess that is should not be that case.

MO sir suggested us to visit him and we turn up yesterday night. I went there at around 10pm at night with my one friend. I met his mother in the ICU room. I look at him and remind me back the last patient I saw in NUH ICU. I nearly tears again, but I hold very strong of myself, which I don’t want to let the mother know. I console his mother and give him an encouragement to carry on even though I know what will happen next. I left around 11.15pm and meet my other friend who had discharge from NUH.

At that time, I release why MO sir said that he (patient) wouldn’t able to make it. When I saw him, he can’t remember who are we, he looks different. Everything is on Intensive Care instrument, what to do you all think (whoever read this blog), do you think he can make it or not? I simply lost in nowhere of island. Please tell me how? Tomorrow I am going down to TTSH to do my duty at 2pm. Guess I will be lonely person facing other death cases that I did not had a choice. Whoever want to come to visit him or accompany me up you are welcome so.

2005-09-12T22:57:00.000+08:00

My precious Philosophy

In my sprite of life are Compassion, Care and Comfort for other and to provide the principles of professional care who are living with illness and wounded person around us. With this compound of the values it need a great support by family member and friends. Nevertheless, fear of it will not stop from me doing it. Giving other a hope and courage is trustful to other who will look appoint you.

The great thing that I haven’t believe it

I have two great wonderful people who have given their support to me and make me live on whatever I am here. Both of them were adopted by me as my daughter and sister. The milestone was left behind till now. When I started to adopt a daughter when I first met her in year 2000. She was very quite person and nice looking girl. But she likes to whisper to her group of friend, who are very close to her life. She had never failed as my daughter who every time cares for me. She felt stress in her studies once or even more and she have to burn midnight oil to get over her study. Every time, I need to nag at her to sleep early or even though she carries on study I will still wait for her and stay awake till she go to bed. But I believe that she can do it. Not only that she also share with me that she wants to be a singer or dancer in her further. I did encourage her to carry on her life of philosophy. Without philosophy life feel meanness, with philosophy or something she like to do, it is better the way and would even help to carry on her career. She told me that no one give her support even her family. But I understand how she feels without a supporter. I believe in the way there is someone will be beside you and giving you courage of support is yourself. Sprite is the answer. And around you are friends and for me is other one who always within you. Never say that you have no hope or no confidant. Just do what ever you wish to be. That is how she became my 1st beloved daughter of my life. Every time I say I getting weaker day by day. She starts to worry for me. That time I lied on the bed and she began to worry day and night. During that period is her test and she had been burning overnight of her study. And I stay with her by messaging till she falls asleep.

Other one was my adopted sister. Not long ago, just a month I just adopted her in August during NDP first aid duty, I was doing my duty as a medic liaison with Red Cross. Every time there is a female casualty. I will look for a female first aider. Everyone was busy in their work, so I can only call name that I able to remember. She was every helpful that day and kin to learn many types injuries that she saw in her eye which is good because it hard to see all kind of cases in your lifetime. Not long she share with me about his family background and I felt sad and sorry for her and decided to adopt her as a brother of her. But that time I was in hospitalization, she began to get worry at that time and keep on message me with her care and concern of her brother lying on the bed with pain. She came and visits twice before. And the third visit was my house, she deliver her cooking food to my house. Her cooking was nice and healthy. But she is a quite person who cries at home with no one know. Feeling lonely and no one accompany her. Her interest was nursing. It was come to my surprise that she want to be a nurse. At first I want to courage her but giving her test how much she willing to be a nurse but she did it. She is willing to be a nurse one day who like to care for other but she need to get more expositive. Give her my courage even her dad want her to be police. But with her strong will, she will do it.

Life & Love

As now you had read it. Each time I have been using strength from heaven to keep me awake and tired was sweep by the wind. Having a two great person with me keep me warm and carry on whatever I am doing. Not other them I have a family member and other who are close to me. But love, is not yet discover out from the demission of me. Perhaps, I don’t have ones. It keeps me away from it. Maybe one day or soon after so nowhere can find a person who I like or person who like me. Great love in your heart, great power in your mind, great sprite is your soul. What ever is great is within you.

With your kindness soul, will be always within you.

Never forget other who is beside you is your Sprite.

-Sister Alice-

Last Word that is someone speical

2005-08-30T22:48:00.000+08:00

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Today is to mark the memories left behind of James (not his real name). He is a friendly and kind heart man who gives away his trust to his friends and other of his own. He met his trustful medic on 25 May 05 and his good friend among all. He lives happy together with his platoon mate and sleep together with his session mate. At night when he got problem or injuries he will look for his medic. On the day of 5 Aug, he had cardiac problem with left chest pain. His ECG was abnormal and was transfer to hospital. His medic accompany him to NUH A&E. He was warded to ward 53 for observation. On 7 Aug, he was refer to ICU as his went for operation but was successful, His condition was bad and did not return to normal statues till 24 Aug. His condition turn worse and pass away on 30th Aug at 2100hrs. His story leave behind by a medic who have be beyond his side.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Dying Patient Part 3 (END)

Today I went to NUH for medical appointment for my GI problem. My appointment was at 3pm and I decide go and see my patient who has already admitted in ICU for 34days since he admitted on 7 Aug. I went in my attire in home cloth and afraid they wouldn’t let me in as they only allow 2 visitor or SAF Personnel. I was outside at ICU and came along Staff Nurse Ng who had share with me of the patient condition. She recognized me and open ICU Door open for me. She said with a smile: Hi, are you here to see your patient today” I applied with anxiety “Yes, how is his condition so far staff nurse Ng” She turn quite and bought me to the pantry and she bought the case file in. My Handphone was switch to silent and didn’t want to answer any call. Sorry Vanessa, Benjamin and David that I didn’t answer your call.

Staff Nurse Ng:
He was confirm to have last stage of cardio problem and now he is suffering Acute Cardiomyopathy. He had a VF Wave at 0900hrs in the morning was revise back at 0915hrs. I have informed the unit camp and the family members about his case. They are now outside waiting for the medical result of the blood test. His vital sign are abnormal and are the sign that his death is coming soon. Temperature is at 35 degrees. Pulse is 48bpm. Respiratory is 35bpm. BP is 70/49mmHg. I understand that how you feel as he is your patient for more than a month. Your feeling is still with him and knowing you are a nurse. You should know what are the prospect to face death that even your love ones and a long acute patient.

Myself:
I don’t know what to do know now. As you know Staff Nurse Ng, as a good friend of his, he had put his trust on me weather he is sick and injuries. And now I am failer who doesn’t do so. I think I not fit to be a combat medic nurse. I can’t bear much pain to myself who is a nurse and have the best knowledge to other. I just wonder that will he forget me. Would I get up my feet again and carry on my duty.

Staff Ng and I leave the pantry and see him. Outside the glass sliding door, I watch him and look at his ECG rhythm. It was abnormal and may not able to leave till tomorrow. I decide to enter the room. I don on the PPE and sat beside him. I told him my last word before he leaves anytime. My dear James (Not his real name), I know you are awaking able to feel me beside you, your ear is open to listen. You aren’t sleeping. I wish to tell you that he are a very true friend of my, we were together everything we need help. We strike on to our goal after our NS. But now, I want to say sorry to you that I unable to lift you up. I lost my and your trust that you given to me. I very sorry for the cause, I am a failer to do as my duty as medic. I just hope you able to forgive me and forgot what had happen. I hear your story and I have not seen your family member yet. I don’t what can I do for you. I know you have suffered enough for the last 34 days in ICU. You had fought as you go along. I think now you should rest and make yourself happy upside, I can’t bear seeing you like that. It is good for you to rest here and when you up there. I would like you to watch and pray for each our men on the earth. Included your family member and May the angles look after you. Your greater power is within you and thinking that you might think I am selfish person. But in fact, you should know. James is time already you have to rest.

Staff Nurse Ng came beside me and gives her touch feeling of sadness on my shoulder. I then, tear down and silent for a short while. Look at the time, is at 1415hrs, I got to leave for appointment. Looking at her eyes are wet, she look like she going tear too. I told her thank you every much that all you have share with me. I believe James should understand now. I went to get my belonging and staff nurse Ng walk together with me out to ICU ward. I saw his parent outside crying in tear. Staff Nurse Ng, intro James's parent to me and she told them I am the Medic who have been looking after him since the day of admission. I felt sorry for them. But what awake me they said this “thank for looking after my son, I know you have bear a lot of pain to see him. I appreciated your kindness and your professional work. I think I have face the fact of my son in his condition, thank you".” Welcome Sir", applied in sadness of tear. At time Vanessa call me again, I don’t dare to answer the call cause I was crying in tear, Sorry Van. I went for appointment at the medical center/board. And the doctor told me to careful what I eat and carry on the medication for other month. I went for other endoscope to check my intestine for further infection.

At 1800hrs, Van msg me to join Huda birthday celebration at centerpoint. I didn’t turn out because I don’t wish to stupid the mood of happier. Sorry Huda and thank for your invitation. Wish you happy birthday.

At 2100hrs, James passes away. He had left his love ones behind and friends that he had decided where to go. James, I glad you accept the choice of it. But nevertheless, you are still my best friend. Thank you for all you have done for me. I hope you a look after us in your spirit and may you rest in peace. For me I take time to recover my fact, and your memories will leave in my dairy and photo. * Salute *

Dying Patient Part 2

2005-08-26T01:03:00.000+08:00

After my discharge day on the 24 August, I decided to pay a visit my patient in ICU ward for more then 3 weeks. I enter the ICU in my home clothing and one of staff nurse recognized me. At the nursing counter, She shares with me of my patient condition. I was very unset and not to break down tear in front of her. She shared with me that his condition was unstable for the last few days. His heart wave is increase 2mm apart and SPO2 is 95% even on oxygen therapy. His diagnosis was discussed as Acute Cardiomyopathy. His lung function is abnormal. Blood test results was in horrify, everything is in low and high. I though he will survive and get out of ICU. But I was totally wrong, I read his case notes and terrible sad and depression. I control my tease and do some basic care of him.

I held his hand and pray for him. I decided to tell him that I understand how you feel on the bed, but u will never be alone. The angles are the nurses and doctors are here to help you out. You can hear their voices and you can feel their touch on your skin. Now you can feel me holding your hand. We are here to encourage you to carry on to come back to life. Thinking and thinking away, and I guess he may not be able to live long as the stage of disease win over him. At the end, I told him again that I suggest that you shouldn’t hold on any longer and you have to leave here to go up to heaven. You have suffered enough of you life and days in the ICU. You might think I am selfish but it for your own good. You hear me and saw me beyond your side every week to visit you. You know and feel me taking care of your need. Everything is by heard and touches. Tear went down from my eye. I try to control but have reached my limit. And I did it, I cried in front of him. I said to myself, I don’t want to lose a friend like him. I don’t want to lose a life that, I have to care and other medical support. I just can’t bear the lose of a life. WHY is this thing happen to me? Do I against to other or am I actually selfish to myself? Friend, please tell me, why this is happen to me, please speak out. Cried over the time, and say guess I am foolish of myself. I’m sorry, got to leave here to go back and rest. If you decided to leave, I wish you look over us and answer our prayer. I left and thank to the staff nurse to share with me about his condition. She comforts me as I walk out of the ICU. Then blast to tear again and thinking what I have done. Taking the stair down and a story was left behind and never forget what happen.

Admission in Hospital Story & Thank You

2005-08-25T23:25:00.000+08:00

On the 16 Aug in the morning, I was going for run with friends but all the sudden my abdominal pain till I fainted off. According to my medic told me that my bunkmates stretcher me to medical center and was an emergency cases. Soon I was transported to NUH A&E immediate. Then admitted in the ward at 1630hrs on 17 Aug. Sad cases, message P2, Joceyln and other who i cant remember. That night the doctor attended to me and do some phyiscal examination. There were unknown of my diagnosis when a term of doctor trying to figure out what happens to me. I have no fever, vomiting and stool problem. I went for CT scan on Saturday and found nothing. The last test was my horrified test is Endoscopes (it a tube going through the mouth and to GI tract). They found out of infection of my small intestine. The doctor perform an immediate remover know as biopsy. Next day I wake up and found myself in the ward. Doctor told me he had remove about 3cm of the layer and was successful but need to observer any bleeding for a day. I felt painful at my abdominal again but take time to subset it. On 24 Aug, I was all right and able to discharge. And happy that I all right but now I felt a mild pain only maybe because of the remover ba. =D Oh yes I had to give my special thank to all my nurses friends, ITE Lecturer, NYP Lecturer, HMI Lecture, Army friends, family, Zai Family, VDD, RCY (VI & Cadets) and relative for your concern. Thank for the gift that you have give to me and I appreciated it. Thank

Guest Acknowledgment

Contribute by VDD & RCY (VI)

Ms P2 Ms P1, Ms Doreen, Ms Huda, Ms Jocelyn, Ms Huimin
Mr Wilson, Mr Lugan, Mr Ambrose, Mr Nicky, Mr Kenny, Mr Yong Cheng

Contribute by RCY (Cadets)
YenHui, Ting Ting, Xinyi, Audrey, Kaiying, Cheng Hong, Hui Chu, Persis, Zadina, RI Cadet

Hospital Nurse (Enrolled Nurse and Staff Nurse)
SGH
Christina Ong, Crystal Tan, Pei Shan

Peishin, Peiling

NUH

Bita, Zaina. Shalina

KKH

Ellen

Lecturer & Student Nurse (NYP & ITE)
ITE
Jacq Chan, Liew, Ms Chow, Mdm Yew

NYP

Peiyuh, Hoisum

National Day

2005-08-10T15:48:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday, Singapore. Haha Yeah it is over for the past 2 days. On that day, I was the medic at medical post. I was happy to see everyone who I know from Ministry of Health (MOH), Red Cross Youth, Nursing Board and St John. It seen that it is a small world. My friends were shock to see me that I know everyone in the NDP medical term. Hahaha, they were wondering who am I and where am I from?

Not long from Red Cross Youth arrived, and I give a small detail on the NDP medical guideline. I realize that it not easy to handle with public in Army Uniform while I rather be a Red Cross Uniform. It is so much different to handle. I learn to be more patient as usually and get their understand as now the press and news are narrowing on Army Medic. Each step I do have to be every careful. Ah, I remember when handing female casualty I refer to Red Cross Cadets. So nothing will wrong if the press is writing news about us. I remember I like to use my junior VI to handle for me, if she busy I cant remembers whom I used in the 1st shift. =P. At around 4pm, I got about 20 casualties from both medical posts. About 5pm, my friend run to medical post and told us the casualty fainted off. I ran with him with our air viva and stretcher toward to the casualty. These is a big problem the casualty was a female lucky the sister, was all right as she witness us assess the casualty. Later she turn to unstable, we decide to evacuate to medical post. She was so heavy without thinking, we run quickly as possible. Reach at medical post, I quickly catch my breath as tell the Doctor what happen. I look around; I guess the cadets were wondering what happen to the casualty. Around evening time, there were a peak of casualties were injuries and illness from their medical history. My medical post was busy and other tries to do the treatment quickly. Each time I received a female casualties I will call a cadet name “Ting Ting” to call and help me or Shirley my junior VI. I don’t know why I kept on calling Ting Ting maybe easy to remember her name. Oh ya, I was surprise to hear from her that she want to be a Nurse, Haha Guess that see her soon in NYP. Well, I still concern about her when both of us attend to the old man who had abrasion wound on the both kneecap. That casualty made use of the cadets. I ask Joshua and Nicky to gather the cadets aside because I will know the old man will walk away. True enough the old man walk away few minute after the cadet had gather one side. One I received a female who, fell in the drain other is a girl who grandmother want to remove a foreign object.

I am glad to work together with the MOH, St John and of course when I belong to is Red Cross working as a family. So far there are a total of 50 casualties in Yishun Heartland.

Dying Patient!!!

2005-08-07T16:53:00.000+08:00

A week ago, I visit my friend who is admitted in the Hospital. He was having a last stage of illness. I enter in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit), with PPE on. He was sleeping when I visited him. Looking at him, I felt sad and confuse. I sat beside him and keep him accompany. He was on ETT, 24hours Vital Sign and ECG lead. Later, He woke up by opening his eyes, and look at me. I felt happy as he awake. He tried his best to communicate but unable cause the tube is in his mouth. He tear down and hold my hand, I know he tried to tell me something, I told him that he will be fine and recovered soon. I look at the ECG line, was turning abnormal any time. I remember his last word when we will up the rooftop. He wishes to carry on his study after NS to be Engineer (Aircraft).

I can’t bear much and can’t do much for him. He is the only boy in his family and had a girlfriend waiting for him to recover. I told him that to stay on not to give up so soon, you have a long way to go, my dear friend. I control my tear as I walk out of the room. Tearing down fast and uncontrolled myself as I told myself, what am I doing, and why I have to do all these visiting and document that patient are going to die soon? Why I have this appointment as a combat nurse? Should I been here the first place? After an hour, I document down all I need to do so and carry out my work. Walk out of the ICU and reflected back what happen to him during the event that cause him to collasp.

Would he still be live after along recover or he will give up his life?

What wrong with me??

2005-07-31T16:52:00.000+08:00

Day by day gone, still the some thing happen each time. Recently, someone tried to put me in trouble by telling lied to my friends and Sir. Unfortunately, the case was solve within 1hrs after he tell the truth. I was very disappointed about it and put my trust to him.

Sometime it takes me to get over with it but till now I can’t leave it aside. I still think the problem and trying my best to put a smile and tell other I am fine. Everyone was concern about me as the case, which, was bought up to Commanding Officer (CO). I remind clam and relax but it since didn’t held me up to normal person. I behave stupid and forgetful when I hanger thing or other. Lot of problems was driving in my mind. Maybe the problem came on hard on me, or maybe I can’t erase out of my mind. "WHY it should not be like that. Haiz"

Till the days have come by, I just treat my company line, as only 3 medics are present in my hand, WJ, AW and myself. WJ was like my best buddy to me even he going to ORD soon, I tried my best to put him more relax and enjoy his ORD mood. He know I am unhappy a lot of thing that keep in my heart and mind. He also know that I trying to act as normal person but it seen he can read my mind.

Each day, I borrow strength and power from God to allow me to carry on. But I have a strong feeling I will be lying down on the bed and losing my strength away. One of my friends were very concern when he saw me walking side to side as I like going to faint off.

Thank you my wonderful friends who give me your courage and understand the problem I am holding. I try to put in my rest but I don’t think so. I glad having you as my best buddy after all. Never forget our BMT times. Never give up to those who want to carry on. Who know that thing change a lot in miracles way. Who know that life will be bad or normal way. How can I tell myself to stay on and keep myself awake? I guess I giving up myself a hope. Everyday, I felt tired and restless. My friend was right that time, he told me not to give up yourself as there are many Man in the company need me.

Yesterday, I was in NDP and I enjoy myself the whole. I made new friend from other units and the event is going on. So far I got 2 casualties at my post, nothing major about. I saw the uniform group people left early at 8pm. At 10pm, P2 call me up. I was carry thing sorry P2 to reject your call. I met my wonderful family members again for supper at Newton. Nothing much, just has fun. Haiz, that is a short while.

Stressful Event at Field Camp

2005-07-17T17:29:00.000+08:00

Last Week, my company was having platoon field camp. It was 3days and 3 nights event. It is all right cause I already been adopt to the system and life in company. Sharing out my story making me to ease my stress

I was the cover medic for all the 3days, while my partner will assistant me when I need help. Each day, I had not enough sleep and got a lot of bite from unknown insert. Haizz..

Day 1 Story:
In the morning everything were fine. But in the afternoon and night was bad. After lunch I received a case of fever and nausea. I gave him an IV as the temperature was reaching out at 38. He was fine but then send to Medical Centre was further treatment. At 10pm, the company was sleeping. I make my round to check all the men were all right. Each station I pass, the guard HALT me and check my identification before allow me to pass. After my round ended, I decide to rest. All the sudden, a man ran quickly and wakes me up. He said that his mate is unwell. I was in shock run ahead as the guard all trying to stop me. It was a head injury case. I alarm the signal to inform the safety vehicle to send off the patient to Hospital. I went with the patient and observe the casualty for abnormal behavior. That was a trauma for me which I did not expect an Emergency Case. Reach at hospital quickly the medical attendant to him. I wait about 3hrs for everything when fine before we left. Reached back to field at 4am.

Day 2 Story:
In the morning, I woke up at 7am to have breakfast. I was so sleepy by then. Not long after my meal. Other cases come in. A Sergeant approach to me and he told he not well, feeling like to vomited and having stomach pain. I was afraid he having gastritis and it a non- emergency case, I gave him warm water and tell him to wait for medical center to open. After him, other private came in and his case was unknown insert bitten on his left hand. So I decided to send them back to medical center later at 9am. In the afternoon, there was other case. One of the men went into the pothole and sprains his feet. His foot was swollen out as big as rock sand. Oh my got to send him to rest at training shelter and wait for the next transport to the camp. From then I start to be more alert and carry on my duty. After this case nothing happen and got 5hrs sleep on the stretcher.

Day 3 Story:
This time I believe not much case will be happen. But in the afternoon, our commanding officer appears and watches our platoon training. I was totally shock and smile out. In the early afternoon, it was raining with Lighting. All the activities were stop and waited for the rain to stop. Not long for it, a platoon runner signaler to safety and medic that they had 1 NO-DUFF cases. Our CO Sir drives quickly to the scene. I try to put my best performance and treat the casualty quickly. His case was having hyperventilation. As the weather turn badly, I had to evacuate him to the nearest shelter and perform my treatment. CO Sir gave me his hand and helps me to evacuate the casualty. I felt abit embarrass. At the shelter, I assess his condition was fine and did give him VI. After 10min, he started to confuse and worry that need to send to medical center. After 15min, his condition turn worse and have to send out. Quickly give him IV and send to medical center. He was stabled and admitted to sickbay. Back to cover and carry on my duty. I started to reflect myself, how came so many case happen each day. And all is under my hand. As the rain lighter, the battle course start. This time OC sir plan to have platoon battle. About 5pm, a man ran into the forest and got himself injury. Every platoon shout of “MEDIC” “MEDIC”. I ran across the smoke and approach to him. He had 2 degrees burn and was less than 1%. It was non-emergency case and decided to bandage and let him rest at the training shelter. At 6pm, we reach at Sharon area, my OC sir, go for hunt for Rambutan. It was fun and enjoy the taste of juicy. Hahaha. Half an hour later, the weather turns bad and is going to rain again. Not again, other case of hyperventilation, we quickly, send the casualty and remain his condition stable. He was been shock by his friend.

All these cases, make my experience enlarge and carry on my professional skill. I felt that is much thing to do and much thing to learn. There is nothing to be stop as the times go by, I will learn the mistake and experience myself into different world.

Leave Day

2005-07-09T15:18:00.000+08:00

Finally, manage to get leave for 2days and will be back to camp this Saturday. I have an appointment as Company Medic since on monday. I didn’t feel stress even through the job scope is wide out. I pass down to Platoon Medic to handle the situation.

Today was my 1st day of leave, went to NUH to discuss with my pervious Red Cross teacher, miss chow about National First Aid Competition. Follow by, she bought me around the hospital. I felt different when I was a student nurse before. It since that they are more relaxing side and not too anxiety of their clinical skill. I remember my times; we keep on petting our lecture to complete our skill. Well that is life.

After having fun seeing the student, I went back to ITE East (Simei) to collect my certificate but I was late, the teacher left the officer early. Oh my, but later met Jacq for Dinner. I was surprise that she dare to take Nursing as her career. We went for dinner, and guess what she had forget my Chinese name, how bad was she.

Later went to Airport, to send my friend. Well the fight was at 2am, and I reached at 10:30pm. At the airport, so many people were talking about me lah. Aiya leave it as normal. Hahaha

Worry!!! Still now I worry about my health, I don’t know weather I am recovering. I feel that I getting worse, my skin is turning to redness and swelling again after my hospital admission. I guess I have to observer myself and watch out for any dangerous lump.
Next week other field camp, pray hard nothing go wrong.

Farewell Message

2005-07-03T17:19:00.000+08:00

Few days ago, I was in confuse and dilemma weather I should been in HQ or Company line. This battle was keep going on since I enter the Battalion HQ as a HQ Combat Medic. Life was simple as usually, all the sudden new outbreak about death case and shortage of medic in Company. I was reposted back to Company line. Left behind my fellow medic who I had works with long enough and create the bounding of strength during emergency care. I just like a rubbish dump away from other and going to other world. Skill, Knowledge and strength were cast away by the disaster calling.

Farewell message by few of my friends and sadness touch in the heart. In the company, I was reward and welcome back. Given appointment as Company Medic. Thinking back the past in medical center wasn’t the same as in company line. Lot things have to catch up as the troopers have been well trained in combat.

Farewell Message:
To Martin – Thank for your touch given to me as I had left and wish me luck to come back to HQ line. I will be awaiting for the letter of appointment back to HQ. Our skill and knowledge will least long. Wish you all the best ahead and see you soon.

Gilbert: Thank for your kindness support and wellness. Wish you the best, as BCS I/C. Guess is hard on you checking store and medic care to the patient. Not to worry, if I am back, I will help you out even I had other posting.

Chee Yong: Good to know you as you have knowledge in wound management. Great that we have share our skill and making patient wound heal well. Hope we meet again soon.

Farewell my senior medic and fellow medic. Guess we have all the helping hand and strength our line along. I will be waiting to come back as HQ medic and get new appointment again. Thank for you courage to pull me back hoping the officer aggress with it.

Reminder this line:

Your skills are in your hand and heart. Your hand will save a life.
- Nursing Manager of TTSH

Passion and a Calling

2005-06-19T17:01:00.000+08:00

It is a month in medical center, since my last depression for 3 weeks. Last week was the 4 weeks; life was the same as usually. But I escape from my depression life and went for out field session live firing. I accepted the task and went with 2 other friends who I able to get well with them.

The coverage was 3days and 3 night, I was there giving my blood away to the mosquito, in the day came attack by session group in the night they attack by company line. I had a total of 40 bites all over my body. The mosquitoes are well train in biting through a thick layer uniform and they have session their needless and have intelligence mind. I used a lot of insect repellent and mosquito coil. Both preventive didn’t work at all. Never mind of it and carry on my duty. My officer-commander (OC) brought my friend and me around the field in Land Rover. I was in alert mode to ensure the officer took safety and preventive measure. My roles are:

- Provide safety to the solider
- Provide medical cover
- Preventive accident and heat stroke case
- To assess endanger life threading

Simple role like these it is not easy as it through. Especially at night, I have to also maintain light and sound discipline. Observe in silence way. Next day, my OC brought us to collect durian. OC sir, give us a fresh durian just drop off from the tress. We tasted creamy and nice. OC sir, also join us the fun as he always say, “there is joy and fun” “they is serious and discipline”

Soon, that night I do my reflection over night in the land rover. And reflection, how army life can be, it is my way of thinking committee suicide able to solve my problem just that MIA person causing the problem to us. Or should I just ignore him away as time go by.

As Harry ford said: “Weather you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right and have the power to do so”.

The power in my hand have the control them and should not misuse any of them. Time past away, I left the field early, as I am duty medic on Friday. Erick allowed me to leave we 5 tonner and fall a sleep.

On Saturday night, I went with P2, Jocelyn and Huda for coffee session which we held every Saturday night together and gossip and share problem among ourselves. Relief my stress of power and depression. I now ease my mind to other side of darkness. Time will come again as we don’t know when it will come. Raising the flag high each morning and remember what Harry Ford say.

Life was Worse. Feeling Depression

2005-06-12T13:13:00.000+08:00

2 weeks had past since my passing out parade of medic course level 1. Though that life will be good and fun learning when back to my camp. But I was wrong it turns out bad to worse, receiving problem and trouble of 1 of our team. Among the medics I am the experience ones who is a nurse have a good knowledge in medical term. I had a task to guide the new medic of medical equipment. I share my knowledge and skill to them and they learned. One of the medics always causing problem among us. He keep on claim he having stress and headaches, I understand how he feel and what life have change him. I try to change his mentally but failed to do so but I didn’t give up hope.

At the clinical measurement room, I gave him a try to take parameter for a patient who having rash. He looks worry and didn’t give a try, I try to pursue him but he refuse. Later he left the room to other side silently. I carry on my work while other was busy to manage the medical center. Suddenly we were call up to lecture room to meet our medical officer. In shock of life, our MO warned us included smoker not to smoke around the medical center again. We already know who did it as we just act normal. Reason that I know my teams were busy in each session while he the only one didn’t do anything.

Life was dead and tired. Depression over a matter. Feeling Hopeless and Saddness. Can’t think of solution to help a medic who had given up hope. That night I was holding a can of coke drinking outside the colder balcony of the medical center. Looking up the darkness sky and asking myself “WHY IS THIS HAPPEN TO ME”, "WHY MUST THIS MATTER PULLING ME DOWN”, “AM I HOPELESS”, shouting across a darkness field.

Friend came along and place his touch over my shoulder. Seeing me drunk the 9th can of coke a days like drinking alcohol. He asked, “are you trying to kill yourself”. “Some how if I could”, Answer with depression. Sharing problem which I faces and allows me to ease my stressor and depression away. But it didn’t help to solve it out. Silent down myself, and pray these what I can only do. The rest I keep tell myself “WHAT AM I GOING TO DO” or “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO, DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO”. Feeling like committee suicide out of the camp and mind. “Are you crazy”, my friend scold me. “Remember that you guide me well and I learn from you cause you are NURSE, you have to stand out and speak out yourself”. Message across my ear since to be hopeless to me. Drunk away my least can of coke, and together walk back to bunk and have a good sleep.

Thursday afternoon, we received urgent message that we need to clean our bunk because our Commanding Officer is coming. 9 out of 10 turn out to do area cleaning, the only one was missing, we call him "MIA Medic". We quickly do the sweeping, cleaning and mopping. An hours past, we mop the floor with Medical Smell and await the floor to dry. Suddenly the MIA Medic appears and we tell him not to enter the room that we had just mop the floor. He argues with us and ask “WHY”, we were so angry but patient and explain with him again. Showing us his stress faces, and he enter the room without physical. His boots were muddy and had mess the room. We shouts and scolds him off, but didn’t turn good. Instead he likes want to fight with us. We decide to give up hope and walk away. He left the bunk and we quickly clean up the mess and this time around we lock up the room and go back to medical center.

Raise up he voice at medical center asking us “WHY WE LOCK THE DOOR WITHOUT TELLING HIM”. Logically, it is the duty of Bunk I/C is to lock up the room when no one is in the room or is a working hours. Unreason, he complains to senior medic and we got a great scolding from senior medic. Feeling anger in the heart, but have no other choice face the music. We did complain couple of time to our senior medic about him, but senior medic also given up hope. Useless and heartless.

End of the week 2, I was terrible down, depress and stress out. I don’t know what to do next. I am lost, confuse & fearing down. Use to be strong and ownership during medic course. But it seen problem and trouble become a great fear to me. Sincerely thinking of giving up HOPE and Mindless of Suicide. Warning to him didn’t give a change. SO HOW.

ENDLESS OF LIFE

Bounce Back After Breakup

2005-06-05T17:07:00.000+08:00

Problem with relationship, "maybe", "yes", "No", or "I don't Know". These are the common answer you give to your friends, but will his help.

Breaking up from relationship is never easy. However with help from the people around us like friends and family, the road may be easier to travel. Your life has only just begun, your move to next is by grow from the experience!!

Common reason people give when they broke up:

- Male serving the national service(NS)

- Given less time to opposite partner

- Too fast in relationship without thinking

- Many more reason

- Unable to understand

- No feeling

and Many more.......

Some of us unable to bear the breakup, there are 5 great way to conquer crisis.

1) It will hurt but Not forever

Forget what the songs tell you. The disappointment you feel will last for some time but not forever. Distract yourself from the pain by keeping busy. Call on old friends, make new ones, rediscover your hobby or concentrate on your work.

2) There are other out there

With time and effort you can discover another relationship. Be brave and try again.

3) Don' stand on a 3 legged stool

Build your life around many thing. Invest your time in family, friends, hobbies work and your spiritual needs. When one aspect of your life disappoints, there will be four others to support you. Building your life around one or two aspects will lead to instability when crisis strikes.

4) It's not the end of the world.

Talk to someone who has been through it. Like your brother, sister or friends may have been through a breakup. Ask about their experience, feeling and why. Your parents will be proud that you can manage your crisis.

5) I am stronger than that.

I can take knock in life. Nothing can stop me. I am stronger than that. With the support of my friends, family, buddies any my spirit, I can get over this obstacle. Drinking and smoking are not good ways to help me cope and I should not take too much of it. Driving dangerously is also not a solution to my problem.

These are the 5 tips been use on people who had breakup with their partner.

Rapping Crime in SMM by SMM Media Report

2005-05-29T15:02:00.000+08:00

8 Days ago before our Passing-of-Ceremony (POC), about five victim reported been rapped by a group of gang from Operation 123 platoon (O123). CPL Tay, (not want to be named) is a conducting specialist, CPL Cai (not want to be named) is a safety specialist and PTE Lim, (not want to be named) is a Supervised Officer and 6 members involved the incident. They had planned many days ago on the strategy to target the medic in each bunk.

CNN from Bunk 1 media arrived at scene at 8pm and they hidden at one of the bunk. At 8pm, the O123 platoon starts their 1st strike at bunk 6. CPL Steve (not his real name) was on the phone. Unexpect attacked, CPL Steve used his BCCT skill but failed to counter attacked. They pull out his underwear and tear apart. CPL Steve shouted help but no one came to rescue. Instead the medics quickly run and hide themselves away from the O123 platoon. Some even prepare for evacuation. CPL Steve was send to Bunk 4 for medical treatment and died at 8.15pm from psychotics shock. O123 Platoon run away when CNN enter to the scene. Close attack at Bunk 5, PTE Hong (not his real name) was been attacked by O123 platoon. They used triangular bandage and tired him up on the bed. CNN managed to captured CPL Tay photo in action by pulling out the underwear and tear apart. CPL Tay quickly arrested CNN media personnel and start to attack him without notice. CNN Media personnel was tried on the bed next to PTE Hong using the same method. Both of them were evacuated to bunk 4 for medic treatment but they died at 8.30pm from shock. Team 2 of CNN from bunk 2 arrived at the bunk 4 with protective suit. PTE Azizah said: I do not know why they (referring to O123 platoon) would want to rap the medic underwear. Its as if they did not have any feeling for the victims. But, to do such a crime in night of disaster is unacceptable. If I must add on, incredibly stupid."

The police are now increasing their vigilance for future attempts to rapper by O123 platoon. While on the alert, the police expect the medic to be alert, including innocent medic and cute female medic. They could strike anytime. Police alert to all medic not to walk around with underwear nor display out.

Unfortunately, there was other strike at bunk 4. The medic of bunk 4 who are the medical team were shock and quickly call the police. But too late, O123 platoon take immediate action and attack PTE Tang. They even brush him up and PTE Tang fainted. They strip him into piece including underwear. Medics in bunk 4 run away to peaceful site at bunk 3, as they were peacemakers who are playing Magic Card.

When the police arrived, PTE Tang was dead at 9pm on the bed.
Police siad that their criminal acts would not last long though, remarked Undercover Cop LTA Toh." I expect their next pundits to be on the follow night, at a possible location such as the SMM building However, whatever plans they have, the media plays a big part in stopping them. "

PTE Alvin Ee

CNN Medic Media

Singapore, SMM

Relationship & You

2005-05-21T11:52:00.000+08:00

That Sunday, my bunkmate came and chat with me about 'Relationship'. I was like a consulter to him. "Alvin, may I ask you that do you have girlfriend before" he asked sounding sad. I replied "haven't been in relationship before but have a crush with a girl".

People keeping on asking me how come you are not in a relationship at my age while other already started to have one. Well my dear bunkmate, you have answer the question by what you have the problem. Your answer is I don't wish to broke out relationship with a small problem and unnecessary thing happen.

Nevertheless want to ask for relationship which I have not answer for that. Not even giving a chance to get relationship nor giving the heart/love to her.

Ask yourselves how many time are you in a relationship or broke out? Do you question yourselves like?

Have you ever wonder why are you in a relationship
Do I really love /care / understand her well.
What is LOVE? And What is RELATIONSHIP Mean to you?

Many of us have not answer these question before got into trouble.

SO WHAT IS YOUR ANSWER THEN?

-------> THE END

Transport of 80kg

2005-05-15T22:35:00.000+08:00

Few days back on 12 May, We had transportation lesson and SOC (Standard Obstacles Course). The SOC consists of Low Wall, Log bar, Low ground, staircase and a walk of 900m. The lesson was the same as what I have learn in Red Cross Evacuations.

We had to carry a casualty which, weight up to 80kg. I sugguest to use a shoulder lift for long distants, and i let the bar rest on my shoulder. Very strain and tired siaz....

Reach at obstacles of low wall of about 1.7m height. We manage to cross over, but one of my friend forget to lift over the rear handle near the aged of the wall. Next is the log bar is a simple with mudding ground. So unlucky got into contact by the enemry we have to prone down by using cross leg mentod. and my left side of my body are full with mud. After crawling over the log bar on the muddy ground. Come into the low ground have to crawl other 40m to other side. Was a tiring and got myself injuired, tahan myself and carry on the obstacles. After then have to walk back to base about 350m. Though that we have completed the course but have to use the staircase to come down the hill to reach the base. Almost make the casualty fall off, because my two friend got psychomotor problem, preharp they already too tried to thing ba. At the end, i felt is fun and enjoyable with mental and physical. Back to bunk quickly wash out and went for dinner, and we have western food hehehe. Then at night got exam paper on Preventive Medicine, I dont know weather I able to do well. Hehehe

Count down7 Days to POP Liao.... >>>>>

Day of Triple I/C

2005-04-22T22:40:00.000+08:00

26 April 2005

Today, I was triple I/C one as Platoon IC, Company IC, and IV IC. It like hell to me, have to reminder 4 platoon strength. Total of our medics is 235. Well have to report to Sergeant out of whole list papers that I wrote on it. What to do, I have a short term memory.

As Platoon IC, have to control my man, bloody hell tell them instruction and they don't listen to me so have to shout at them. Every time got one idiot come down so late (FATTY GUY). So got puishment from sergeant. Cant stand it and cant imagine that what he go to unit and have a casualty I think the casualty will die, if is a ER case.

Late Afternoon I was IVIC, As a IC have to be the 1st one to volunteer arm to give medic to insert it and the needle was 16G long. So unlucky I got a boo boo shooter take few minutes to insert into my vessels, he keep on complain here and there. I was like in hell of PAIN. Cant get the vessels so have to move the needle, I SCREAM in PAIN and guess what. HE PUT OUT OF THE NEEDLE and my blood is flow out like water. Haizz GIVING UP as a IC for the whole day.

Counting Week of 4 to end my course .......... >>>>

Posting to Medic

2005-03-26T08:30:00.000+08:00

On 21 March, First day at Nee Soon Camp, I was lost my way to the camp. The camp is big and many building are seen to be old. Thank to one of the Medic was nice to bring me to SMM (School of Military Medicine). Noting much on the first day, it just has orientation and I am in Platoon 3 Section 8 Bed 1. Hmm I ask my friend to buy 4-D hehehe 0381, nice number mah. My section instructor is Sgt Vincent Poh. He is nice to us and very knowledgeable person. BUT look fierce =(

Haiz I volunteer to be IV IC, cause no one want to volunteer. Guess it is a easy job what I hear from, so take it as a duty. Later he announce of "Guard Duty and Fireman Duty". WHAT A DAY, KANA on GOOD FRIDAY... Scream out loud, but no other choose take it as a normal day lor. Still have to do duty wah, it is manner of early or later time.

The following day was all about A&P lesson. So bore up with the same as my nursing course. Well take it positive as a refresh course. The instructor is alright but talk crab a lot. Later came to DEATH MUST TO BE REMEMBER FOR YOUR LIFE. "PAM" lesson

Just about to be dead during PAM Lesson. So many thing to remember and store in my BRAIN CELL. Just cant wait to BOOK OUT on Thursday.

Yeah Thursday is a "BOOK OUT" day so happy, but have to came back on Friday at 7am for duty. Doing Fire Duty, it is like doing a first aid duty. Just try to get use to it. At night went on a talk with my brothers, chee keong and YC, to plan for the following day outing. Some how hearing brother voices, it make me feel happier as the time go past. At 2030, light off and went to rest, my buddy and me take alternate to sleep. At 7am, end of duty. When back home fall a sleep and meet brother at Bedok at 1pm to have lunch and went for movie around 8pm.